Life will never be the same again.
Perhaps because life doesn’t offer retakes. There’s no editing, deleting, or undoing once things are done.
I find myself haunted by the memories of those quiet evening teas, the sweet scent of rain as we danced under the monsoon showers, and the laughter that followed every little thing we celebrated.
I long for the home I built with my own hands, where every corner felt alive, filled with warmth. A home that opened its doors to me each night, welcoming me in my exhaustion, where peace and love lived in every room.
You gave me everything a woman could dream of.
The quiet assurance that your eyes would seek only me, until your very last breath. The promise to stand by me through every storm, no matter how furious I might be. You always faced me with love, patiently riding out my tempests.
Yes, I was quick to anger. But we always made up, didn’t we?
Do you remember how I loved surprising you? Cooking your favorite meal, planning a trip just for us, booking a movie night when you least expected it.
I loved you in ways I never knew I could. In you, I found a fragile, lost soul I longed to protect, to give every ounce of joy this world could offer.
"In secret we met,
In silence, I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive."
My terrace, my room, our bed—the walls adorned with our memories, the shelves decorated with flowers and statues we picked out together. They weren’t just things; they were pieces of us.
That home was my pride, the warmest place I knew, where the air hummed with life and love.
These days, I often forget things, but some memories have carved themselves so deeply into my heart that I could never erase them, even if I tried. But why must memories be so painful?
The other day, while cleaning, I came across an old medical report.
Do you remember that day? After your father beat me, you rushed me to the doctor. I was bleeding, my body bruised and broken, my clothes torn. I couldn’t even stand.
Yet, I didn’t leave. I stayed with you. Because I believed you weren’t responsible for what your father did. I couldn’t abandon you in a world where even the closest ones betray.
I have a new life now. I’m married to a good man—successful, caring, and attentive. I have everything anyone could ask for—expensive clothes, beautiful shoes, a luxurious life. I look perfect on the outside.
But you know what? I can’t sleep. All the wealth in the world cannot buy me a peaceful night’s rest.
I would give it all away, every bit of it, just to sleep peacefully once more.
Remember how I used to sing for you? I would sing for hours, and you’d sit there, showering me with praise after each song.
I no longer have the time to sing, and my voice isn’t what it used to be. I grow tired so easily now. Life has become something I struggle to endure. You told me once that I sang beautifully. No one else tells me that now.
Do you remember how I taught you to play the harmonium?
Why did you choose lies over truth? Why did you pick hatred over love?
Why did you choose drugs over me?
Life will never be the same for me because I’m just a shadow of what I once was.
My husband is a kind and wonderful man. He loves me, spoils me, and takes care of my every need. But sometimes, he reminds me that by marrying me, he did me a favor.
After all, I’m a divorcee, someone society looks down upon. He’s a gem of a man for accepting me, for giving me a place in his life.
Why did you choose drugs over me?
I’ll never forgive you for taking my home away, for stealing my peaceful nights, my smile, and my innocence.
You promised to change for me, to leave your bad habits behind.
"Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame."
Do you know I’ve started graying?
But not gracefully.
A few days ago, I found my first white hair, and all I could think was how you would’ve laughed, teasing me endlessly if you’d seen it.
You always said I’d gray before you. Have you started graying yet?
Do you remember how we promised to grow old together?
Now, I’ll grow old with my husband, this gem of a person.
I swear, I don’t miss you.
I miss the days filled with sunshine. I miss the moments that felt so alive.
I miss the home whose every corner embraced me like an old friend.
You were a boy without a home, and I gave you one. But you took mine away. You made me homeless.
You were alone, and I offered to be your friend, your confidante, your guardian, and your partner for life. But you left me, abandoning me to a society that treats me like dirt.
How could you see me as an option?
"If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears."
We only die once—so die with dignity.
Why destroy yourself day by day? Why destroy the ones who love you?
Separation, divorce—these tear lives apart. The scars never fade, and those left behind are never the same again. They are treated as lesser, taken for granted.
Live life. Love life. Cherish those who love you.
Live fully—live deeply. Never let go.
