Christmas – Embracing Unexpected Blessings

As I strolled past a beautifully adorned house just days before Christmas, the tantalizing scent of freshly baked goods enveloped the air. The world was gearing up for the festive season, and I, too, had elaborate plans to make this Christmas unforgettable. Little did I know that God had a different script for me.

My vision included a warm home adorned with festive decorations, delightful meals, shopping sprees, donning new attire, and moments of prayer and reflection. In a surprising turn of events, my world crumbled, and all my meticulously laid plans were cast aside. Betrayal haunted my nights, transforming the sanctuary I once called home into a desolate landscape.

A home derives its essence from its inhabitants, its family. Yet, unbeknownst to me, my man had another home, another family. The realization of this deception left me cold and shattered, seeking solace in the somber corners of my once-beloved room. Tears stained my pillow as I endured sleepless nights, grappling with the overwhelming sense of betrayal.

However, as written in the Bible, "The Lord is my shepherd," I found solace in the assurance that even when we stray, the Shepherd seeks out His lost sheep. Our human nature inclines us to wander, but God's grace beckons us back onto the path of redemption.

Amidst the darkness, Christmas dawned, and God had orchestrated a different plan—one filled with unexpected blessings.

He had sent a special Santa to take care of me and make my Christmas merry. Suddenly, the best plans were set  into motion, and celebrations commenced without giving me a moment to contemplate what was happening. I simply allowed myself to breathe in the positivity that enveloped me and let my heart beat to the rhythm of joy.

December 24, 2023: I awoke to the joyous surprise of my travel blog being published in a prominent newspaper. The day unfolded with serenity as I attended a Sai Puja at a dear friend's house, experiencing divine grace in the midst of positive energy.

The Christmas eve continued with a visit to Palassio Mall for a vibrant Christmas Carnival, where my heart resonated with joy amid the live orchestra and the exuberant crowd. I shopped, danced, and savored a sumptuous dinner.

December 25, 2023: A peaceful night's rest ushered in a bright Christmas morning. I began the day with a pilgrimage to the sacred shrine of Dewa Sharif, after a hiatus of nine years. Live qawalis filled the air with positivity, reminding me of the universal message of love for humanity.

The evening brought more joy through mall hopping and a shopping spree at Fun Mall. The highlight, however, was visiting the Cathedral to bow before the Almighty, expressing gratitude for His unexpected blessings.

As I stood in the beautifully adorned church, memories of morning masses, hymns, and prayers flooded my mind. Overwhelmed with gratitude, I silently prayed for strength to overcome the darkness that had enveloped my life. In the quiet sanctuary of the church, I added a prayer for healing, knowing that the Lord would answer my pleas and deliver me from the pain of betrayal.

In this unexpected Christmas journey, God's plan unfolded, and I embraced the blessings that emerged from the ashes of shattered expectations.

Where My Krishna Dwells - Tale 1

 

In the enchanting realm of Vrindavan Dham, where the divine Leelas of Shri Radha Krishna unfolded, one cannot fathom the ordinary nature of the Ras Vihar, for it is a place where the beloved Parabrahma, the Lord of all three worlds, incarnated in the forms of Shri Maa Lakshmi Ji and Shri Radharani Ji. The very ground of Vrindavan Dham resonates with the purity left by the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord during His divine play.

The captivating beauty of Vrindavan is an extension of Shri Radha Vrindavan itself. It is where Sri Krishna embodies Vrindavan, Sri Vishnu is Vrindavan, Sri Lakshmi is Vrindavan, and every particle is infused with the divine presence of Radha ji and Lord Shri Krishna.

This Golok Dham, manifested on Earth as Vrindavan, spans across 73.8 km, and the present inhabitants are blessed to witness the various divine pastimes etched into the very fabric of man and God.

The genesis of the name "Vrindavan" traces back to Satyayuga, where King Kedar, the virtuous ruler known as the King of the Seven Lights, had a daughter named Vrinda Devi. Engrossed in devotion to Lord Krishna from a young age, Vrinda Devi, despite being eligible for marriage, chose a path beyond worldly life. Her sixty-thousand-year penance was rewarded with Srihari Mat from the venerable Durvasha Muni.

Pleased with her devotion, Lord Shri Krishna appeared before Vrinda Devi, expressing his desire. Overwhelmed with joy, Vrinda Devi vowed to perpetually adore Him and follow His divine names. In response, Lord Krishna bestowed upon her the name "Vrindavan Devi" and proclaimed that, in Kalyug, whenever His devotees chanted His name, they would also remember hers. Thus, Vrindavan Devi became a blessed Gopika, akin to the cherished companion of Shri Radharani in Braj.

In the present day, the temple of Vrinda Devi stands near Nandgaon, a testament to the divine connection between Vrindavan and its namesake.

During the Leelas of Shri Radhakrishna, Vrindavan bloomed like a lotus flower, illuminated not by modern lights but by the celestial glow of nature, akin to a double-sided night of the full moon. The landscape was adorned with myriad gems and stones, resounding with the sweet melody of the flowing Shri Yamuna and the harmonious chirping of beautiful birds.

In this captivating Braj Mandal, situated on the middle lotus, the revered Shri Vrindadevi, from her abode in Golok Dham, considers the picturesque scenes of Kalyug as a divine haven. The enchanting pastimes of Lord Krishna and Shri Radharani, as they grazed the cows, unfolded in Vrindavan, now located just 10 kilometers from Mathura. Even today, the echoes of Radha Krishna's divine play linger, making it a place where one can immerse oneself in the joyous presence of the Supreme Lord and His eternal consort.

His Christmas - My Christmas

 

As the Christmas bells began to jingle, signaling the festive season, the world prepared to celebrate the birth of Christ. It was a time for family and joy—Christmas carols, delectable food, new outfits, the warmth of home and the companionship of loved ones defined the holiday spirit. 

In a twist of fate, I found myself entangled in a consensual affair with a man who brought immense happiness into my life. Despite our share of disagreements, our love blossomed. I welcomed him into my life, recognizing his longing for love and a home. We started as two friends who had lost everything, finding solace and intense love in each other's company. Together, we pledged to build a home, a family, share cuddles, embark on travels, enjoy movies and indulge in sumptuous dinners—those were truly enchanting days.

Our lives were filled with sunshine, laughter, and playful teasing, all within the comforting embrace of each other. However, shadows lingered from his past. I had willingly left behind my comfort zone to create a new life with him, but he remained tethered to his past relationship of two decades. His past love cast a long shadow, a constant presence in his thoughts that often left me feeling insecure and cheated.

Despite my protests, he struggled to fully let go of his past. The fear of him leaving haunted me and unfortunately, it became a reality. Multiple times, under the pretext of various excuses, he would run back to his former life, weaving a web of lies to conceal the truth. Unbeknownst to me, my love for him slowly withered away, not due to a natural death but a brutal murder by the layers of lies, manipulations, and deceit. 

His lies were not malicious; rather, they were attempts to sustain our relationship while unwilling to sever ties with his past. Our secret vows remained hidden and the glow of our love became a well-kept secret. Gradually, our relationship deteriorated, each sentence laced with lies and his eyes betraying me. When the time came for him to make a final choice between me and his past, he chose me and we continued our journey together.

Yet, something was amiss. Despite physically being with me, he had left his heart behind.

The guilt of our affair began to consume me and I felt nauseous and profoundly sad. Consciously, I wrestled with the thought that I had taken someone else's husband. Despite knowing the torment he endured in his previous relationship, his deep-seated love for his wife never waned. He showed me pictures of their beautifully decorated home for Christmas, expressing the pain in his heart.

The revelation came when I overheard him professing his love to his wife and discovered endearing messages exchanged between them. Broken, I confronted him and he responded with endless abuse, attacking my past, health and worthiness of love. I smiled through the pain, realizing I had nothing left to lose.

He stormed out, never to return and I closed the door behind him. Amidst sobs, I thanked God for orchestrating his return to his original home. It was Christmas, a time for family and I was glad he could be with his loved ones again. Christmas is about love, sacrifice and giving gifts. Perhaps the most precious gift I could give him was his family back.

My love for him was like an ocean slowly drowning me and I was clinging to the last piece of driftwood that was my hope.

Those walks in the beautiful lanes lined with eucalyptus trees, those evenings when we sat down to have tea together after retiring from work. Those endless chats, the dreams we shared... How can I forget those?

But how can I even forget how he abused and cursed me when I confronted him? Cursing me never to be a mother, cursing me for my ill health, cursing the nights we spent together... cursing every bit of my existence.

Love is not a constraint; it is about surrender and sacrifice. If Mother Mary could sacrifice her only son for humankind, couldn't I sacrifice my love for his happiness? My Christmas might not be merry and warm anymore, but I found solace in knowing that his would be and for that, I am grateful.

Indeed, gifts of time and love are the essential ingredients for a truly merry Christmas.

Lonely Winter Nights

 

As the mercury plummeted to eight degrees last night, memories of my arrival in Lucknow a decade ago flooded back. It was the exact same time of the year. Career aspirations had drawn me to this city, but I was blissfully unaware of its harsh winter climate.

Financial constraints prevented me from acquiring warm bedding to endure the severe cold. Armed only with a thin blanket from home, my attempts to sleep at nights were futile. Midnight brought shivers, and I would awaken, trembling, yearning for the comforting warmth of home. Tears would stream down my face as I longed for someone to share the chill with, someone to cuddle and nestle with on cold winter nights. Yet, it seemed that fate had its own plans for each of us. The dream of finding true love to embrace on such wintry nights remained unfulfilled.

Fast forward to yesterday night, and the chill was just as intense as it was a decade ago. I Found myself once again with only a thin blanket for solace. A profound sense of loneliness crept over me, and I yearned for someone to call my own. Someone with whom I could share warmth and comfort. However, it appeared that God had different plans for me. This chapter of my quest for love and companionship on a cold winter night remains a poignant, unrealized dream.

Even now, a warm quilt eluded me. It wasn't a matter of affordability now, but rather the absence of a home. I currently reside in a temporary accommodation at a temple's ashram, making do with whatever provisions are available. With both body and heart ailing, I tried to find solace in sleep, wrapped in my thin blanket as the temperature dipped to seven or eight degrees Celsius. I whispered a silent prayer to the Lord, "O Lord, I am cold and shivering. Please, lull me to sleep." I drifted into slumber without realizing when it happened.

The following morning, as if by magic, a knock sounded at my door. To my surprise, a man stood there with a thick blanket and a room heater. He explained that they were sent to me to ensure my comfort amidst the falling temperatures. Overwhelmed, tears welled up in my eyes as I expressed my gratitude to the divine.

 Although the room still feels lonely, at least it is warm now.